The worst MYM messages to avoid (and why they don't work)
On MYM, every message you send is either an opportunity or a wasted opportunity. There's no neutral ground. A flat, generic, or poorly thought-out message doesn't just leave a fan indifferent — it actively costs you money. It destroys the dynamic you could have built. It closes a door that, properly opened, could have generated a sale, a relationship, a loyal fan.
The problem is that bad messages don't look bad when you write them. They look normal. Natural. Obvious. That's precisely why they're dangerous: you can spend weeks, even months, sending them without ever understanding why your conversions are stagnating.
In this article, we'll dissect the 7 most widespread message patterns on MYM — the ones you're probably using without realizing it — and look at exactly why each one fails. For each mistake, you'll find a concrete, actionable fix. The goal isn't to make you rewrite all your messages overnight, but to help you understand the logic behind a message that engages… versus one nobody reads.
What you'll discover here is that the difference between a good and bad MYM message isn't a question of talent or personality. It's a question of structure, emotion, and timing.
Every unanswered message represents a transaction that didn't happen. On MYM, where monetization mainly flows through DMs, a low response rate is directly correlated with low revenue. This isn't a metaphor — it's a mathematical reality.
The real impact of bad messages on your revenue
Before getting into examples, you need to understand what's at play psychologically when a fan receives a message. They don't read your words rationally. They feel them. And what they feel in the first two seconds determines whether they'll respond or not.
A fan who receives a boring or predictable message isn't just "not interested." They're actively disappointed. They had an implicit expectation — a small spark of hope that this message would be different, interesting, personal — and you just extinguished it. This type of repeated disappointment conditions fans to ignore your messages by reflex.
Mistake 1 — "Hey how are you?"
This is the most sent message on MYM. And probably the most useless. "Hey how are you?" is a message designed to ask nothing, provoke nothing, create nothing. There's no reason to respond to this message because it adds nothing to the conversation. It creates no emotion, no curiosity, no tension.
This message also poses another problem: it puts the fan in a position of superiority. They can choose to respond or not, and their response has zero emotional cost. You've made the conversation optional. On MYM, you need every message to make a response feel almost inevitable.
The corrected version does the exact opposite: it creates a situation, positions the fan as the initiator (even though you're writing first), and opens a door toward something undefined. The fan wants to know what's happening. They respond.
Mistake 2 — "Want to see my video?"
This message is too direct, and "too direct" on MYM is almost always a mistake. When you pitch a sale without having created desire first, you force the fan to make a rational decision at a moment when they should only be thinking with their emotions. The rational brain says "no" by default. Emotion says "yes" when it's been properly cultivated.
Also, the phrasing "Do you want to see?" implies the value of the content isn't obvious. You're asking a question that can be answered "no thanks." You should never have left that option so easily open.
The corrected version sells nothing. It creates a mystery, a light provocation, and lets the fan ask themselves. When the fan asks, they've already said "yes" to the conversation — and you just have to convert.
Mistake 3 — "New video available"
This message is the newsletter nobody asked for. It's cold, impersonal, and looks exactly like an automatic push notification. The fan reads it in 0.3 seconds, understands it's not speaking to them specifically, and moves on. There's no emotional reason to stop on this message.
The underlying problem: this message treats the fan as a subscriber, not a person. On MYM, your most valuable fans want to feel unique, seen, understood. A broadcast message destroys that illusion in a fraction of a second.
The difference is radical. "I thought of you" creates a personal connection. "I wanted you to be the first" creates exclusivity. These two elements together transform a cold announcement into an intimate moment.
Even if you send the same message to 50 fans, each fan must feel that this message exists only for them. That's the tension between efficiency (scale) and connection (intimacy) that the best MYM creators resolve with intelligently personalized templates.
Mistake 4 — The identical copy-paste to all fans
This is the hardest mistake to detect because it doesn't show in a single message — it shows in the pattern. When you send exactly the same message to each of your fans without any variation, some start to recognize it (especially long-time active fans). And when a fan realizes they're receiving a generic message, they don't just feel ignored — they feel disrespected.
There's also a consistency problem: a passive fan and a fan who's already bought 5 PPVs aren't at the same point in their relationship with you. Sending them the same message is like a waiter asking every table if they want the dessert menu, including those who just finished their coffee and asked for the check. It doesn't match the reality of the relationship.
The solution isn't to write each message from scratch — that's impossible at scale. It's to have several templates adapted to each fan profile, with personalized variables (name, last purchase, recent behavior) that give the impression of a unique message.
Mistake 5 — Not following up after silence
A fan who doesn't respond isn't a lost fan. They're a fan who saw your message, didn't have the time or desire to respond at that exact moment, and mentally moved on. Most creators interpret this silence as a definitive refusal and don't dare write again. That's a mistake that costs enormously.
The data shows it: a significant portion of MYM sales happen after one or more follow-ups. The first message plants a seed. The follow-up is the watering. Without it, nothing grows.
A well-done follow-up isn't pushy — it's playful. It picks up where the first message left off and adds a small emotional pressure (slight jealousy, renewed curiosity, light provocation) that gets the fan moving again without putting them on the defensive.
A follow-up should never look like a follow-up. It should look like a natural continuation of the conversation, as if you had a new idea or something happened. The goal is to reopen the attention window without the fan feeling harassed.
Mistake 6 — Replying coldly ("ok", "cool", "sure")
You succeeded in engaging a fan. They replied to you. And then you send "ok" or "nice!". This mistake literally kills conversations in their tracks. Every time you respond with a neutral word, you give the fan permission to exit the conversation. You signal that what's happening isn't interesting enough to deserve your energy.
On MYM, conversation is a ping-pong game. Each reply from you must return the ball with a little more energy than you received. If the fan sends you "cool," you need to reply with something that makes them want to continue, not something that lets them leave.
The corrected version uses a light tease to rekindle interest, and immediately introduces a new teaser that maintains tension and opens the door toward a potential sale.
Mistake 7 — Revealing too much too fast
This is perhaps the most counterintuitive mistake. When you describe your content too precisely in a message — "I made a 12-minute video in red lingerie where I…" — you eliminate the mystery. You give the fan all the information they need to decide, rationally, whether they want to buy or not. And when they make that decision rationally, they often say no.
Desire works on absence, not information. The more you describe, the less the fan imagines. The less they imagine, the less they desire. The less they desire, the less they buy.
The second version says nothing about the content. It says everything about the emotion the content will create. And that's exactly what the fan is buying — not minutes of video, but an emotional experience.
In marketing, this is called the "curiosity gap" — the gap between what someone knows and what they want to know. The larger the gap, the stronger the motivation to act (click, respond, buy). Your messages must open gaps, never close them before the fan has paid.
The problem common to all these mistakes
These 7 patterns share a fundamental flaw: they create nothing. No emotion. No curiosity. No tension. They transmit information in a neutral way, and neutral information doesn't engage people. On MYM, it's not the most informative message that generates sales — it's the most emotionally charged one.
When you write a message, the right question isn't "is this message clear?" It's "does this message create an emotion that pushes the fan to want to respond?" If the answer is no, the message needs reworking, no matter how well-structured it is.
What creators who truly perform do
MYM creators who generate steady and growing revenue aren't necessarily more talented, more attractive, or with more fans. They've simply understood one thing: conversation is a skill that can be mastered. They test their messages, measure response rates, identify what works and what doesn't, and continuously improve.
They don't treat each message as a simple notification. They treat it as a mini-script where each word has been weighed to provoke a specific reaction. And they have systems — templates organized by fan type, pre-planned follow-up sequences, responses adapted to each behavior — that let them be consistent without burning out.
Before sending any message, apply this simple test: read your message from the fan's point of view and ask yourself "so what?" If you can easily answer "so what, nothing special," rewrite the message. A good message can't survive the "so what?" test — it makes the question impossible to ask.
Conclusion
Bad messages aren't harmless. Each one is a missed opportunity, a sale that won't happen, a fan drifting a little further away. The good news is that these mistakes are all fixable — and often quickly. You don't need to reinvent your personality or change your content. You just need to change the structure and intention of your messages.
Start by identifying which of these 7 patterns you use most often. Fix that one first. Measure the difference. Then move to the next. Within a few weeks, you should see a noticeable difference in your response rate — and in your revenue.
This article is part of MYM Messages: the complete guide — the exhaustive resource on this topic with all cluster articles.
Related articles
- 10 MYM messages that actually convert
- How to write a MYM message that actually gets replies
- My MYM fans aren't responding
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